Satan's Pillow

As many of you know, we are on a tour of Oklahoma, seeing family and sharing the vision of what God is doing in our lives. We are blessed to have family that will love us and allow our children to "redecorate" their houses. (Mikiah is making a fine wallpaper stripper. That almost sounds dirty.) We have been made comformtable and shown love everywhere we have been.

However, there is one thing that must be addressed to all of America and the world. I believe it is at the core of why America's ecomony is slipping, we are paying $4 for gas and the borders are not secure. The reason for all of these things is this pillow that you see here. Apparently it is called a Gathered Pillow Sham. All I can say (actually that is not true, but it is a figure of speech) is that it certainly is a sham... a sham of a pillow!

Somewhere, the woman who invinted this tool of Satan is smiling and laughing aware of the evil that she unleashed on the world at large. How do I know it is a woman responsible for this? LOOK AT IT! No man in his right mind would create that on the sewing machine, stand back and marvel "Holy crap Jeff, I think I just made sumfin good here."

I'm not a moron. (Stop laughing!) Iknow that these things are more for looks than anything, but every bed I have slept in has had pillows like this stacked on them that look like a challenge from Double Dare. I am afraid to remove them the wrongway or else I will get slimed. It is like culling through the carcassas of the dead on the battle field in order to find a place to erect a statue in your honor.

This thing is a pillow, usually really flat or extremely plump, with a frilly piece of cloth sewed around it. It serves no purpose and is impossible to sleep on. The frill sticks out and ends up tickling your nose or stuck in your mouth. (Where is your hand? Between two pillows. Those aren't pillows!)

I can't help but believe that these things are the great symbol of the feminization of the American Male. They are placed there to say "Look at us, we're a pillow...a special pillow just for you big boy." We as men don't want and shouldn't have to settle for "special" pillows; we want plain, white and firm.

Now for a man pillow, you must go to the body pillow. Seen here. That is a pillow with a purpose. It is for the man to wrench and wrestle into submission, then pass out on top of. Man pillow. Pillow of the man. Do us all a favor and help stop blatant liberalism and make the switch today.