I am not sure if this creepy or not, but I love people watching. I love watching what is so important to people and how they react when those important things are challenged or threatened. The mall is the best place to people watch. There are plenty of "important" things for people to pursue and their facial expressions, body language and to a much lesser extent, their own words write the story of that pursuit. It is quite hilarious and at times really discouraging to see human depravity at it's finest.
However now, being a church planter/pastor/older creepy guy, I find the local coffee shop to be a much appreciated and richer place to watch people go about the "important" things in their lives. The coffee shop is much less
out loud and much more introspective, which is fine with me, because I get to create their inner monologue.
Unfortunately, today, their was a young woman who decided to not have a silent inner monologue, but in a tragic decision, decided to let everyone in the coffee shop know what she was thinking. It started when she walked in. She was wearing a green shirt that simply said
"Treehugger" across the front. (Ryan's internal monologue insight #1:"Sister tree's aren't the only things getting hugged by that tight shirt right now." ) She proceeds to walk up to the
counter loudly talking to her friend about "What this area really needs is...". I can't honestly tell you anything after that, because I have been conditioned by Fox News, talk radio and a history of a legalistic church to shut down upon hearing those words.
She orders her Chai tea with non-fat organic creamer and a twig from a holly bush and sits at the table next to me and begins to include all the coffee shop in the conversation she is having with her friend. The topic? I have no idea. I'm not sure there was a common thread to any of the conversation. It began with a story about seeing an ad for free massages. (Ryan's internal monologue #2: "If you see an ad for a "Free Massage" and you think, "What a great idea! I can't wait to partake of this soothing activity from a total stranger at their house out of earshot of anyone outside the house who could help me if the masseuse decides to tenderize your head with a sledgehammer", then you deserve to die a grizzly death I guess.) The girl then continued telling the story about going to the address of the ad and finding a couple who gave massages (Ryan's internal monologue #3 - All I can think of is this: Will Ferrell Hot Tub Lovers) and had lots of cats. (R I M #4 - Of course they did.)
As if this weren't enough, in the same sentence, without a break, this conversation turns to the geological make up of the mountains of Western Massachusetts. I am not kidding. There was no cheesy transition like, "Speaking of relaxing activities, I was studying the geology of the mountains of Western Massachusetts the other day to relax from a long day of being exposed to the soul stealing entities of electricity and indoor plumbing, and you will never guess what I found out, they are mining those mountains for Pixie Stix!". Nothing like that. It was as if someone just pushed the button to change the channel on the conversation in mid sentence. Free massages from a flyer one minute and Historical Geology the next.
However, the most random and telling thing happened after the tight-shirted treehugger's (R I M #5 - I don't say "treehugger" in a Fox News/Rush Limbaugh derogatory way. I refer more to the self-labeling and circulation challenging t-shirt) friend left the coffee shop and she was left alone. As they were settling into their table, the tree hugger stood up quickly and announced that she needed sugar in her organic, chai, rosebud flavored tea. However, as she stood up, she glanced at her friend, saw that there was something wrong and then sat back down just as quickly and said, "Silly me, I am drinking chai, you don't need sugar for chai." The conversation about the massage and the rocks then took place and about 20 minutes later, the tree huggers friend left the coffee shop. As soon as the door closed, the tree hugger went over to the condiments table and dumped sugar into her tea, drank two sips and poured it out.
When we first arrived in Western MA, we were introduced to the culture by a variety of sources. A couple of women who had just recently graduated from Mount Holyoke College took us around campus and explained how it is common for women to arrive on campus and change their identity a full 180 degrees just to fit in. These changes usually take many forms and some much more drastic than what I saw this morning, but it was a great reminder of who we are ministering to. And it also was a blast to watch.
"My hypocrisy knows no bounds."
Val Kilmer as Doc Holiday, Tombstone
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